i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
