i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
