you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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