OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize