Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize