something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
