ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
