His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
