i think i have herpe
just one?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
