I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
