U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You work out of a Hotel?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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