I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
