Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
