is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
