I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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