so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize