Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.

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(518): View more from New York

Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?

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(559): View more from California

So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

(1-559): View more from California

That depends on who this is.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?

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(518): View more from New York

and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis

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(406): View more from Montana

I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion

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(503): View more from Oregon

Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.

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