butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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