After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
