Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
