in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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