What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
