I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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