Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
