You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
