I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
