Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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