Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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