I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize