Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
no, he came in my armpit
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
