My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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