don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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