Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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