It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
