She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
