You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
how drunk are you?
Several
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize