Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just gargled with NyQuil
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
