ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
