God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
