when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize