This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize