So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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