just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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