I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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