My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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