Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
