I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am naked and annoyed.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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