why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
