Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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