i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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