Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
