i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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