Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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