We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
