If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
