They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
