you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
