I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You smell like stripper and shame
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
