kristin has been a bad kristin
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm having to shit out rocks
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
