Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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