somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
His hands were made for my vagina.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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