I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
