We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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